How many thoughts do you have on an average day? Now consider how many thoughts you have during a performance. How about in the hours, minutes, or even seconds leading up to it? Our minds are constantly processing information, evaluating situations, recalling experiences, and anticipating what may happen next – which is exactly why combating negative self-talk starts with understanding how much mental activity you’re already working with.
According to a 2020 study by Tseng and Poppenk, the average person experiences approximately 6,200 thoughts per day. Notably, the thoughts measured in their study occurred during periods of rest. If that is the number of thoughts occurring when you are simply at rest, consider how much mental activity may occur when you are preparing to perform or actively performing.
Not every thought comes in the form of words. Some may be images, memories, sensations, or other forms of mental representation. However, the thoughts that take the form of an internal or spoken dialogue are commonly referred to as self-talk. Self-talk is the internal or external dialogue a person uses to interpret situations, guide thoughts and feelings, and influence their actions.
There are many different types and functions of self-talk. For the sake of this article, however, we will focus on self-talk from a performance perspective: self-talk can either help your performance or work against it. The goal is not to eliminate negative thoughts altogether, but to recognize the thoughts that are unhelpful and develop the skills for combating negative self-talk more effectively.
The Importance of Combating Harmful Self-talk
The words we use with ourselves can influence how we interpret a situation, how we respond to pressure, where we direct our attention, and how confidently we approach the task in front of us. What you think and say to yourself can shape your emotional response, influence your behavior, and ultimately affect how you perform.
This becomes especially important in high-performance environments, where the margin between success and failure can be small and pressure can make our thoughts louder. A mistake can quickly become, “I always mess this up.” A difficult moment can become, “I can’t do this.” A missed opportunity can turn into, “I am not good enough.” The event itself may last only a few seconds, but the internal conversation that follows can influence what happens next. Self-talk can either keep your attention connected to the task or pull it toward doubt, frustration, fear, or past mistakes.
The goal is not to eliminate negative thoughts or force yourself to think positively all the time. Negative thoughts are a normal part of being human and performing under pressure. Instead, effective self-talk involves developing awareness of what you are saying to yourself and learning how to respond when that internal dialogue becomes harmful to your performance.
Just as physical skills require practice, the way we communicate with ourselves can be trained. Developing effective self-talk – combating negative self-talk, in particular – does not guarantee that every performance will go exactly as planned, but it can influence how you respond to challenges, mistakes, pressure, and uncertainty. In performance, you may not always control what happens around you. You can, however, develop greater awareness of the conversation happening within you and learn to make that conversation work for you rather than against you.
“Be careful how you talk to yourself because you are listening”
– Lisa M. Hayes
In Sports
For athletes, self-talk can occur before, during, or after a competition. Consider a tennis player who double-faults on consecutive points. After the second double fault, the athlete may begin thinking, “I always double fault anyway.” That thought can influence what happens next. If the athlete begins to expect another mistake, they may become more hesitant, lose confidence in their serve, or become overly focused on avoiding another error rather than executing the skill.
The same athlete could respond differently by using more constructive and task-focused self-talk, such as, “I can make this serve,” or “Trust the serve and commit to the motion.” This does not guarantee that the next serve will be successful, but it can redirect the athlete’s attention toward execution rather than the previous mistake. Instead of allowing one error to shape the next attempt, the athlete can use self-talk to refocus on what they can control.
This is where combating negative self-talk becomes an important part of performance. The thoughts we have can influence how we interpret a situation, which can then influence our emotions, attention, and behavior. What we tell ourselves does not determine exactly what will happen, but it can influence how we respond to what happens next.
In Business
For business owners, self-talk can occur throughout the many challenges that come with building and managing a business. Consider a business owner who reaches out to several potential clients and receives multiple rejections. After hearing “no” several times, they may begin telling themselves, “No one wants to work with me,” or “Maybe I am not cut out for this.” These thoughts can influence how the business owner approaches their next opportunity. They may become hesitant to make another sales call, avoid putting themselves in situations where they could face rejection, or put less effort into pursuing new opportunities.
The same business owner could respond differently by using more constructive and action-oriented self-talk, such as, “A rejection does not determine the value of my business,” or “I can learn from this and make the next call.” This does not guarantee that the next potential client will say yes, but it can help the business owner separate an individual outcome from their broader identity and goals. Instead of allowing one rejection to determine what happens next, they can redirect their attention toward the actions they can control.
This is where self-talk can become an important performance skill for business owners. Building a business often involves uncertainty, setbacks, difficult decisions, and situations where the outcome is not entirely within your control. The way you respond internally to those experiences can influence your confidence, attention, decision-making, and willingness to continue taking action. What you tell yourself does not determine whether a business will succeed, but it can influence how you respond to the challenges that come along the way.
In Ministry
Self-talk can show up in different ways in ministry. It can surface through interpersonal challenges, overthinking a sermon or lesson, questioning your effectiveness, or wondering whether you are equipped for the responsibility you have been given. For those serving in ministry, the way they think and speak to themselves can become especially important because their internal dialogue can influence how they respond to challenges and how they show up for the people they serve.
The concept of self-talk also connects naturally with Scripture’s emphasis on what we allow our minds to dwell on. Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Paul is encouraging believers to intentionally direct their thoughts toward things that are true, good, and worthy of attention. While this passage is not specifically a modern teaching on self-talk, it provides a biblical framework for being intentional about the thoughts we allow to occupy our minds.
Paul continues in Philippians 4:9, “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me-practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” Here, Paul connects what believers have learned and internalized with how they live and behave. The passage demonstrates a broader biblical principle: what we dwell on and practice can influence how we respond and live. For those serving in ministry, this can be a valuable reminder to pay attention not only to the words they speak to others, but also to the internal dialogue they carry themselves.
Self-talk does not replace faith, Scripture, prayer, or wise counsel. However, becoming aware of our internal dialogue – the starting point for combating negative self-talk – can help us recognize when our thoughts are pulling us away from truth and toward fear, doubt, discouragement, or self-reliance. The goal is not simply to replace every difficult thought with a positive one, but to learn to bring our thoughts back to what is true, grounded, and consistent with what we believe.
Three Ways of Combating Negative Self-Talk
Combating negative self-talk is not just something that happens over night; it is a skill that can be trained. The following techniques provide practical ways to challenge, change, and take control of your self-talk.
1. Countering
Self-talk can take many different forms, as discussed earlier. One way to combat unproductive self-talk is through countering, which involves challenging an unhelpful thought by looking at the facts and evidence surrounding it. Rather than automatically accepting a negative thought as true, the performer can pause and ask whether the thought accurately reflects the situation.
For example, an athlete competing in a new environment or under significant pressure may begin thinking, “I do not belong here,” or “I am not good enough for this.” These thoughts may feel true in the moment, but feelings are not always an accurate representation of the facts. Countering the thought means stepping back and examining the evidence. The athlete was recruited because someone believed they had the ability to compete at this level. Their coach has chosen to put them in the competition. They have trained and worked hard to earn the opportunity. They have likely faced difficult practices, competitions, and setbacks to reach this point. These facts provide a more complete picture than the negative thought alone.
Another way to think about countering is debunking the thought. Negative self-talk is often influenced by doubt, fear, previous mistakes, or difficult experiences. When those experiences become the evidence we use to judge ourselves, it can be easy to overlook the evidence that contradicts them. Countering creates an opportunity to examine both sides rather than allowing one negative thought to become the conclusion.
This process does not mean convincing yourself that everything is going perfectly or replacing every negative thought with an overly positive statement. Instead, it means asking questions such as: What evidence supports this thought? What evidence contradicts it? Am I looking at the entire situation or only the negative part? What would I say to someone else in this same situation?
The goal of countering is not to create unrealistic self-talk. It is to create accurate, balanced, and productive self-talk based on the facts of the situation. By learning to challenge unproductive thoughts rather than automatically believing them, performers can develop a more realistic perspective and choose a more constructive response.
2. Thought Stoppage
Similar to countering, developing awareness is an important first step in managing self-talk. Performers need to recognize which thoughts are productive and which thoughts are unproductive for their performance. Once that awareness is developed, they can create a plan for what to do when an unproductive thought appears.
For example, imagine a baseball player stepping into the batter’s box thinking, “I hope I don’t strike out. I always strike out.” After a poor swing, that thought may quickly become, “Ugh, I am awful,” followed by, “I should just quit.” When these thoughts continue to build, the athlete’s attention can shift away from the task and toward fear, frustration, and self-criticism. Instead of focusing on seeing the pitch and executing the next swing, the athlete becomes increasingly focused on avoiding another mistake.
Thought stopping is one strategy that can be used to interrupt this cycle. When a performer recognizes an unproductive thought, they intentionally interrupt it using a predetermined action, word, or mental image. The purpose is not to pretend the thought never happened or force it out of the mind. Instead, the interruption creates a brief reset before redirecting attention toward something more productive.
For example, a performer might use a physical action, such as clapping their hands or snapping their fingers, as a cue to interrupt the thought. Others may use a mental image, such as imagining the thought being flushed away or placing it on a conveyor belt and watching it move out of sight. A simple cue word such as “reset” or “next” can serve the same purpose.
Thought stopping is most effective when the interruption is followed by a redirection. Once the unproductive thought has been interrupted, the performer can shift their attention toward a specific task, cue, or controllable action. For the baseball player, that might mean thinking, “See the ball,” “Stay balanced,” or simply, “Next pitch.”
The goal is not to eliminate every negative thought. Unproductive thoughts will happen, particularly in high-pressure situations. The goal is to recognize when a thought is interfering with performance, interrupt the cycle, and give your attention somewhere more useful to go.
3. Coping Self-Talk Video/Audio
You do not have to wait until unproductive self-talk appears to begin combating negative self-talk. Instead, you can prepare for it ahead of time by creating a coping self-talk video or audio recording. This technique can be especially helpful before or after situations in which you know you are more likely to experience unproductive self-talk, such as preparing for a stressful business proposal, competing in an important tournament, giving a presentation, leading a difficult conversation, or stepping into another high-pressure performance situation.
In this recording, you can use affirmations, constructive self-talk, and countering techniques to help redirect your thoughts when they begin to become unproductive. You can also include encouraging statements from coaches, teammates, colleagues, friends, family members, or other people whose words carry meaning for you. Hearing these reminders in your own voice or from people you trust can provide an intentional source of encouragement when you need it most.
The goal is to create a personalized tool that you can return to before, during, or after challenging situations. Rather than trying to figure out what to tell yourself in the middle of a stressful moment, you have already prepared reminders of what you want your self-talk to sound like. Over time, this can help you become more familiar with the language, cues, and perspectives you want to use during performance and training.
A coping self-talk recording does not guarantee that unproductive thoughts will disappear. Instead, it gives you a prepared resource to help interrupt unhelpful thought patterns, reconnect with what matters, and redirect your attention toward the thoughts and actions that support your performance.
Take Control Today
Negative self-talk is not something you can completely avoid. It is a natural part of performance, and your ability to cope with it is a skill that your PsyOPTIMAL practitioner can help you train. Just like physical skills, your ability to recognize productive and unproductive self-talk, examine the facts of the situation, interrupt unhelpful thoughts, and redirect your attention can improve through intentional practice.
You cannot control every thought that enters your mind, especially in moments of pressure, uncertainty, or disappointment. But you can train how you respond to those thoughts. Learn to recognize when your self-talk is becoming unproductive, challenge the thoughts that are not grounded in the facts of the situation, use thought stopping to interrupt unhelpful thought patterns, and prepare coping self-talk recordings for situations where you know you may struggle.
You do not have to wait until negative self-talk affects your performance to learn how to respond to it. Start combating negative self-talk before you need it.
